How to Tell Someone No

                        

Idk if you know this (I didn't)- NO is a complete sentence.

If you want, you can sweeten it up by adding a thank you to the end.

Sometimes I keep it short and sweet.

No.

Or even nope.

 I'm getting so much better at using this beautifully freeing sentence.

I'm a pro at telling my son No!

They taught us in school to say no to drugs- and the church I grew up in taught us to say no to pretty much everything else.

But no one taught me how to say no to my family or friends.

It's a very important word that we all need to use from time to time.

If you are struggling with this two letter word, head on over to Over The Moon Magazine to learn how to say no!

                               

Peace,

Felicia

Healthy New Year, Healthy New you

Happy New Year- a.k.a "I'm ready to get in the best shape/relationship/job/etc. of my life!".

2015. So crazy.

I thought for sure after the Y2K we'd be teleporting, and have robots who clean and cook calorie-less foods like Rosie from the Jetsons. 

I don't mean to brag, but we got a robot this year. 

Yup. A real- life robot. 

My son got a robotic dinosaur. He doesn't cook, or clean, but he can sit, bark and growl. And he can go into maniac mode if you press a button on his back (which isn't that impressive, I can do the same thing).

Well, just as I'm sure that there's technology out there for teleporting, I'm pretty sure there's some sort of technology for getting rid of calories (kinda like the Total Gym we got for Christmas). 

It's safe to say the past, oh I don't know, maybe my whole post-pubescent life, one of my new years resolutions has been to get healthier (code for skinnier)

While I could go on and on ranting about body image and weight and women and all the other stuff you already know, I'm gonna save you the headache. After all, it was one of the biggest party days of the year last night.

As I was cleaning up today after our awesome party, I tuned into Over the Moon Radio and listened to episode 2- Stop Feeling Crazy About Food with Isabel Foxen Duke. 

Isabel made a very good point. One that we all need to commit to memory.

Weight and health are NOT the same thing. 

You can be healthy and thin and healthy and not thin. You can be unhealthy and thin and unhealthy and not thin. 

So if you're like one of the many bazillion women who want to get "healthier" this year, I suggest you check it out. Or even if you just ate one too many tofu cocktail weenies or one too many glasses of gluten free champagne. 

                                         

Sorry so short, but I have more confetti to clean up. 

Listen to it and get ready to be the healthiest you you can be!

Cheers to the new, healthy, you!!

xxo,

Felicia 

Why I Started Meditating Every Day (the answer might surprise you!)

                                

Apparently it's been a few months since I've posted anything on my blog. I write pretty regularly but it seems as soon as I take a break in my day to get it blog ready, my son wakes up.  Or I realize it's almost 6 and I haven't showered, let alone make anything for dinner. 

Believe it or not, I'm starting to get the hang of this new role of motherhood. Kinda. I did forget the diaper bag last week but for the most part I'm doing pretty good. 

Showers are a regular occurrence, my house is in order and we don't eat corn dogs for lunch anymore! (I've actually been living without a microwave for over a month now.)

So how did I go from stinky, scattered, microwave-hot-dogs-for-lunch-everyday, messy mama to good smelling, grounded, I-now-use-my-toaster-oven-for-everything, organized mama?!

Well... I'm not really sure. 

But I'd have to guess that the secret behind my success is meditation. 

I have been meditating for 21 consecutive days!

Yup...I signed up again for the Oprah & Deepak 21 day meditation challenge- but this time I actually did it for more than 5 days. 

And I have been more productive in those 21 days than I have been in probably the last 2 and a half years! 

Meditation is like organization and cleaning for your soul. 

It's a way to get rid of all the things that you don't need any more and allows room for the stuff you really want to cultivate in your life. 

I felt scattered, unorganized and unproductive. I felt like I was always behind and trying to catch up with my life. 

I was tired of how my life was going and I was asking for direction.

So once again, I was graciously given a nudge from the Universe. 

I was laying on the couch one afternoon, already feeling defeated since my son and my kitchen were covered in oatmeal, (yes, oatmeal is a lunch food) and the rest of my house was a disaster. There were tons of boxes that needed to be unpacked, clothes that needed to be folded- you get the picture. 

I didn't know where to start, so I grabbed my oatmeal covered child, and threw all the laundry off the bed and we laid there.

He was spilling his bottle while I checked my email on my phone. 

I got the email for Day 1 of the meditation challenge and decided to create a cool picture for my Instagram to show people how dedicated I was for signing up for another 21 day challenge. 

I posted the pic and decided what the heck...we're already laying here, we might as well meditate! 

The few times I had actually done the meditations, they were really good and I was excited for this one because the topic was Live the Life You've Always Wanted and that sounded pretty good to me. 

Especially cause I felt like I wasn't exactly living my dreams. 

So I put it on and to my surprise, Max had stopped squirting his milk on the bed and was falling asleep!!

It usually takes me awhile (an hour) to put him down for a nap so the fact that he was asleep in less than 20 minutes was incredible. 

I finished up the meditation and felt refreshed. I think I even showered. 

The next day around nap time, I put on the meditation for day 2, and Max fell asleep again! 

Day 3 and 4- same thing. No screaming or fighting his nap.

 He would fall asleep so fast, I was ready to buy the whole series. 

And another thing started happening- I starting making lists of all the things that needed to be done. 

Now, I had made lists in the past but I never really got around to actually doing them. 

The more I got done, the more motivated I was to do more. I was starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. 

I was more focused and relaxed. I started noticing this expanding feeling of calmness. 

We were a week into the challenge and to be honest, the only reason I was doing it every day was because it was the fastest way I could get my son to nap. 

I've been wanting to make meditation part of my routine for awhile now, but couldn't get passed the feeling of being to busy to actually do it. 

I didn't all of a sudden have time- I just found something that was helping me put my son to sleep faster so I could hurry up and do more stuff around the house.

Regardless of the reasons behind my daily meditation, I was still reaping the benefits. 

Another icredible thing started happening. I noticed all my relationships were improving, I was feeling more patient with my son and with everyone around me. 

My outer world started reflecting my inner world.

I was letting go and clearing out space in my mind and my house was mirroring that. I was making time for me and I noticed that I seemed to have more time in my day.

But the second week into the meditation, Max wasn't napping. As a matter of fact, he didn't nap that whole week. But I still did it because I needed a time out for myself, even if it was only 20 minutes. 

I needed that time to quiet my mind and reflect. 

It's been 21 days. Almost everything on my to do list is complete. We've eaten home cooked meals almost every day, and I feel so good. Like really, really good.

The more I work on the inside, the faster I see change on the outside.


P.S.There are lots of free meditations on Youtube and if you check out The Chopra Center for Meditation, you can sign up for an upcoming meditation series. They're free and they also have an app you can download that's really convenient.

Happy Mother's Day

I don't think anyone is ever really ready when a pregnancy test smiles at you. I hadn't planned on getting pregnant, but the universe had other plans. I wasn't the first person in line to hold the new baby, or had any desire to play with dolls as a child.I didn't have one ounce of motherly anything.

It wasn't that I didn't want kids, I just felt like I'd be okay if it never happened. Thankfully, God had other plans. Like wayyyyy different plans.

Once I got all settled in with the my new pregnant self, I decided that I would have a beautiful, calm, water birth at home surrounded by candles and heavenly music.

I know...first time mom = clueless.

Once again, my plans didn't pan out that way. I developed a severe case of preeclampsia and had to be transported to a bigger hospital to deliver my son via emergency c-section.

Now that he's is a year and a half, the way he made his entrance to this world fits him perfectly. He's very independent and strong willed. He's a little rebel like me (;.

Thank God for his demeanor, 'cause when you're born almost 4 months early, you've got to be pretty determined.

Becoming a mom three and a half months early made me feel like I was so behind. I felt like I was always trying to play catch up. I had a pile of prenatal books I didn't get to read, maternity clothes with the tags still on and a prenatal yoga DVD that came the week I delivered my son.

I was already feeling unprepared and clueless. Having a baby at 26 weeks sure didn't help. I didn't have a parenting style picked out or even had time to do my research on vaccinating.

It's like I got pushed into the middle of a marathon with no training.

I'm finally beginning to realise that what I'm experiencing is called motherhood. We all have these ideas of how we want things to go and the things we'd like to be better prepared for before baby comes or even the things we'd like to accomplish with our children.

Life goes by whether or not you're prepared. Half the time it doesn't go as planned, and that's okay.

I'm finally okay that I wasn't able to use my hypno-birthing cd, or use the birthing tub we reserved. I'm okay knowing that while I have no clue what I'm doing, that I have a force greater than me that I seek guidance and direction from.

We all have access to that guidance.

Search for it and you will find it.

I'm still pretty new to the parenting scene but check out Sitting on the baby. Amy is a mom and a childhood expert who's not afraid to talk about the tuff stuff like how to handle your screaming baby and other stuff we get scared to talk about as parents. There's lots of help there.

The best advice I could give to new parents, or to any new mother who's life isn't going the way you thought is- as long as you're always doing the best you can, everything will be okay. Be present. Enjoy every minute you can with your babies.

Know that the long nights of no sleep and baby screaming will soon be long gone.

You can do this. You were chosen for this. You're and your kids will be just fine.

Lots of love and blessings,
- Felicia G

I'm Coming Out of the (Spiritual) Closet

I'm coming out! 

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

There's a new me coming out

And I just had to live 

And I wanna give

I'm completely positive

I think this time around

I am gonna do it

Like you never knew it

Ooh, I'll make it through

-Diana Ross

We've all had that one gay friend (or more if you're lucky) who's totally out of the closet. They're so confident in who they are that they just wanna be loud and proud.

Then there's the one that keeps everyone guessing.

You know, the one that dresses good and cleans his kitchen.

But this isn't limited to sexual preference.

This is for anyone who's ever felt worried or scared to be themselves.

As I thought about what to write, I felt all this angst and rebellion-

I wanted to get out my prayer flags, light my incense and shout out "namaste bitches!!"

It was like I was 15 again.

I felt like I was having to defend myself, and be ready for my friends and family to judge me. But while thinking about what to write, I realized how ridiculous I was being. 

If you've spent any real time talking to me, you've probably heard my ghost stories, or conspiracy theories or my thoughts on aliens.

This might sound like old news to you.

Or most of you might not even care! We can be so egotistical and think that people really care what we're doing.

Here's a little secret-

Most people aren't really paying attention to what you're doing.

And if they are judging you, they're secretly wishing they could be themselves. But instead of putting that energy into bettering themselves, they put that energy into hating on you.

I also realized the real battle here is with myself. 

I'm the one who projected this version of myself. I'm the one who lead people to believe I was a certain way, or pretended to be interested in things I really wasn't. 

So the real person I've been fighting this whole time was myself.

When my son was born, I felt like I was in the zone. 

I was so consumed with what was going on with him that I didn't have any time to worry about what other people thought.

My son was born 4 months early and it was the craziest time of my life. I was stripped of everything I knew and I had no other choice but to rely on God in every situation. 

My thoughts, actions and words were all aligned. I was just being me. 

And it felt great.

I was basically cut off from my old life the 4 months he was in the hospital. 

I was filling my mind and heart with encouragement. I was meditating every day. I was really doing good! I had no problem saying what I felt. I was open to sharing my experiences. I was so full of joy and gratitude for everything and everyone.

Talking to God was a regular event throughout my day.

I was so focused on the good and that's all I wanted to share. 

My son was released with a perfect bill of health and we were back home and back to our lives. And I went straight back into my old ways of complaining and engaging in the negativity of everything around me. 

I went back to putting on a show.

I wasn't encouraging or optimistic. I went back to being the old me.

And I was miserable.  

I've been playing to part but I just can't do it anymore. 

This past weekend, my love and I went to the Hay House "I Can Do It Denver" seminar, and OMG. The experiences I had were just so incredible that I can't even contain myself.

I was in a room of hundreds of strangers but felt completely at home. I was surrounded by people who are on the same page.

But unlike my old church camp days, I'm not going write about it in my journal and go back to being the same person.

I finally feel free to be me and to move on to the next phase of my life.

And to be me all the time.

Unapologetically me.

So I guess this post is for those of you who are thinking, wth- She's into all that weird stuff?! 

Yup. 

I talk to angels, I use affirmations and law of attraction.

I balance my chakras and have crystals all around my house to raise the energy.

And I used to see dead people. 

Really. 

We all put on these facades. 

Are you really being you? Or are you being who you think everyone wants you to be? Maybe you don't even know who you are yet. Lemme tell you that that's okay too.

Maybe you're stressed out and upset cuz you don't know who you are or who you want to be. Be gentle with yourself, just spend a little time each day trying to figure it out. You'll know it when you find it.

You are free to change yourself at any time. Who care's if people say you've changed. At least you're moving forward!

But in order to be truly happy, you've got to be YOU.

The right people will love you for you and the rest- well they aren't good for you anyway. 

-Felicia G