Thursday, April 3, 2014

I'm Coming Out of the (Spiritual) Closet

I'm coming out! 
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
There's a new me coming out
And I just had to live 
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through

-Diana Ross

We've all had that one gay friend (or more if you're lucky) who's totally out of the closet. They're so confident in who they are that they just wanna be loud and proud.

Then there's the one that keeps everyone guessing.

You know, the one that dresses good and cleans his kitchen.

But this isn't limited to sexual preference.

This is for anyone who's ever felt worried or scared to be themselves.

As I thought about what to write, I felt all this angst and rebellion-

I wanted to get out my prayer flags, light my incense and shout out "namaste bitches!!"

It was like I was 15 again.

I felt like I was having to defend myself, and be ready for my friends and family to judge me. But while thinking about what to write, I realized how ridiculous I was being. 

If you've spent any real time talking to me, you've probably heard my ghost stories, or conspiracy theories or my thoughts on aliens.

This might sound like old news to you.

Or most of you might not even care! We can be so egotistical and think that people really care what we're doing.

Here's a little secret-

Most people aren't really paying attention to what you're doing.

And if they are judging you, they're secretly wishing they could be themselves. But instead of putting that energy into bettering themselves, they put that energy into hating on you.

I also realized the real battle here is with myself. 

I'm the one who projected this version of myself. I'm the one who lead people to believe I was a certain way, or pretended to be interested in things I really wasn't. 

So the real person I've been fighting this whole time was myself.

When my son was born, I felt like I was in the zone. 

I was so consumed with what was going on with him that I didn't have any time to worry about what other people thought.

My son was born 4 months early and it was the craziest time of my life. I was stripped of everything I knew and I had no other choice but to rely on God in every situation. 

My thoughts, actions and words were all aligned. I was just being me. 

And it felt great.

I was basically cut off from my old life the 4 months he was in the hospital. 

I was filling my mind and heart with encouragement. I was meditating every day. I was really doing good! I had no problem saying what I felt. I was open to sharing my experiences. I was so full of joy and gratitude for everything and everyone.

Talking to God was a regular event throughout my day.

I was so focused on the good and that's all I wanted to share. 

My son was released with a perfect bill of health and we were back home and back to our lives. And I went straight back into my old ways of complaining and engaging in the negativity of everything around me. 

I went back to putting on a show.

I wasn't encouraging or optimistic. I went back to being the old me.

And I was miserable.  

I've been playing to part but I just can't do it anymore. 

This past weekend, my love and I went to the Hay House "I Can Do It Denver" seminar, and OMG. The experiences I had were just so incredible that I can't even contain myself.

I was in a room of hundreds of strangers but felt completely at home. I was surrounded by people who are on the same page.

But unlike my old church camp days, I'm not going write about it in my journal and go back to being the same person.

I finally feel free to be me and to move on to the next phase of my life.

And to be me all the time.

Unapologetically me.

So I guess this post is for those of you who are thinking, wth- She's into all that weird stuff?! 


I talk to angels, I use affirmations and law of attraction.

I balance my chakras and have crystals all around my house to raise the energy.

And I used to see dead people. 


We all put on these facades. 

Are you really being you? Or are you being who you think everyone wants you to be? Maybe you don't even know who you are yet. Lemme tell you that that's okay too.

Maybe you're stressed out and upset cuz you don't know who you are or who you want to be. Be gentle with yourself, just spend a little time each day trying to figure it out. You'll know it when you find it.

You are free to change yourself at any time. Who care's if people say you've changed. At least you're moving forward!

But in order to be truly happy, you've got to be YOU.

The right people will love you for you and the rest- well they aren't good for you anyway. 

-Felicia G


  1. YOU GO GURL!!!! I LOVE THIS POST! It is so honest and brave

    Great blog, cant wait to read more! Xoxo

  2. Thanks Robyn, I'm SO excited to start working together. We're going to accomplish great things! xoxo


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