You try and avoid people and situations that will knock you down because you aren't firm in your alignment.
What is alignment?
Alignment is when you are "in line" with what you want.
When you're feeling insecure, unstable, or a lack clarity-it's really a lack of alignment.
First step is to know what you want.
Sounds easy, right?
For many of us, that can be a tricky question. But one of the best ways we learn what we want is all the experiences that show us what we DON'T want.
About a year ago, I was so unhappy. I wasn't enjoying my job anymore, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and since I had just had a baby- I felt stuck.
How was I supposed to just change careers after 10 years, especially with a new baby to support?!
Everything was driving me nuts.
My family was getting on my nerves, my house was getting on my nerves, just about everyone and everything was just so annoying. I felt stuck, frustrated and really, really unhappy.
Because I wasn't aligned with what I wanted, everything around me knocked me down.
The hardest part was I had no clue what I wanted. I was so easily swayed by everyone else's vibrations that I finally got to a point where I would avoid people because I hadn't found my own steadiness. And I felt like I never had time for myself to sit and figure out what I wanted to be doing.
My phone was always ringing, someone was always just showing up without notice, and my parents would freak out if I didn't talk to them at least 8 times a day.
I didn't have any boundaries. I didn't know how to say no. I let everyone call the shots with my time.
All the while thinking "Ughhhh everyone around me is sooo negative, I wish they would spend time working on themselves like I do".
I felt like everyone around me was the problem. That it was their fault that I was unhappy.
If only they would let me balance their chakras then maybe I wouldn't mind spending so much time with them.
I came to the conclusion that if I moved away, I wouldn't have to deal with them and all my problems would be gone.
All the things I thought I needed to be happy, I had them. I had tons of time by myself. Well not really tons- my son always has something for me to be cleaning. I had tons of places to go, new restaurants to try, all the things I thought I was missing out on.
But I still wasn't happy.
I was 1,000 miles away from everyone and I was still unhappy. I finally had the free time I used to dream of, my door bell never rang, my parents still called all day, but at least they couldn't just show up unannounced.
My focus was always on the negative. The negative traits in people, the negative things I would hear around me, negative situations everyone wanted to talk about.
I wanted to get the hell out of town and the hell away from all these things that were keeping me from being happy.
I could've sworn they were the problem. (Real enlightened, huh?)
I was finally in the city I dreamed of moving to, and I was still miserable.
Finally, the light came on.
I was the problem.
I realized that if I didn't start changing my attitude, and focusing on the positive in EVERY situation, I would be miserable every where and with every one.
You can't control outside situations or people. You can only control your reactions.
I had a vibration that the universe kept matching. I was attracting people and situations that brought more anger, frustration and unhappiness because that's what I was "lined up" with.
When you can become so firm and steady in your alignment, you won't be swayed or affected by the people and situations around you.
One of the ways you can get lined up is to pretend that you have the thing or situation you want to be in line with.
Take my situation for example:
I was unhappy. I felt like all the things around me were at fault. Now I've come to realize that happiness is a choice.
If you let outside forces, people, or situations control your happiness, you will constantly be unhappy. Those things aren't constant. People change, situations change, the weather changes. The only constant is your decision to be happy or unhappy.
If you take things one moment at a time, and choose to be happy in those moments- then you start to have a whole bunch of happiness.
So if you want to be lined up with happiness- start doing things that make you happy. And choose to be happy even during those times when you have to do things that don't exactly thrill you. For me, that's doing the dishes. Am I happy that I have to do dishes 10 thousand times a day? No. But I am happy that I have people who like to eat the food I cook.
Would you be sleeping all day if you had your dream job? If you want to be lined up with your dream job, start doing things now that you would be doing if you already had that job.
Be so firm in the feeling- be so set in your alignment that nothing that any one says or does can sway you.
If your family, spouse or friends are critical or negative- don't let it phase you. We're all on our own journeys- love them in the process. Work on yourself and decide that you aren't going to be swayed by their lack of alignment. They'll either shape up or ship out. Or maybe you'll ship out.
We'll be moving home in a few weeks. I'm not sure where we'll end up. But I feel so much better now that I'm aware that I have the power to choose to be happy no matter where we go.
I am so thankful for this time away. And I'm happy to be going back. I choose happiness now, and no person or thing can sway that.
Ok... maybe just the never ending pile of dishes.